she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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