Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Randomize
