Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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