I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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