You work out of a Hotel?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
