You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
