Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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