Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
