I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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