Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
