physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
