So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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