We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
