She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
