I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
