I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
