We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
