I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
