if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
