He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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