JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
false alarm. still invincible.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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