Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
