He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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