what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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