She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
