party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
