He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
