Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
ok first of all what the fuck
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
