my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
