if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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