Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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