she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize