I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
