He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
