the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
