she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
