I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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