i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
