we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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