Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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