awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just forgot I was standing up.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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