I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
