i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
