We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize