You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
