Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
