her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
