Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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