end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
