Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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