lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
