You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
