When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The Olympian is in my bed
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize