I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I look better un-naked...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
