why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
