why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
