She is in my trunk
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Randomize
