Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize