While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize