We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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