I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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