I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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