I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
